A life with nearly no BDD

 What's on?

Mirrors, even in harsh light, are not a problem anymore. A few days ago, I could scrutinise my face in strong light, notice signs of ageing, and stay relaxed about them, an incredible feeling! I could also appreciate the friendly and pleasant-looking person I was facing.

zoom sessions have become a habit, I even propose them, and I am amazed that what I considered the weird shape under my mouth is sometimes not visible anymore. That makes me realise how much our vision can trick us. I'd rather be tricked this new way!

I have now started a summer project for finally being able to make close-up photos. The reason is, I need them for my different projects. I am always asked for a photo alongside my biographical details. And I have now enough of sending photos which are four to eleven years old! The project is thus: each time we go for a walk, my husband takes a photo of me, with the idea that it will gradually be closer and closer.

I have another milestone to face in the autumn: being filmed for a music documentary. I am still frightened. Meanwhile though, my vision of actors in TV series has become more and more tolerant. There is in particular a very popular French crime series where six of the eight main characters have crooked noses, like me. And I find them attractive. I also enjoy very much Geraldine McEwan in the Marple series. So there is hope.

I practice daily the series of exercises I listed in my third post. The series takes only two minutes, and I try to do it at least ten times a day, actually not such a feat. It has now created something totally new and quite wonderful:

- My breathing has changed, has become super easy, a pleasure each time I concentrate on it. My rib cage is extraordinarily supple and I have a feeling of a delicious space at the back of the nose, together with an also delicious feeling of deep relaxation of my upper face, in particular my eyes. This state makes thinking easy, anxiety is gone, I am in the here and now.

- If I lose this wonderful state, it is very easy to find again, I can recover it in a few moments of body consciousness. And it has changed my facial expression to the better: smiling is totally associated with this state.

My conclusion is that the series brings me to an ideal balance of my autonomous nervous system. If it helps my BDD, fair enough, but it is in any case a by-product of my research that I shall not abandon!